A senior dating a freshman

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Having a long-distance relationship in college doesn’t just mean long distance.

It means long distance, long term.”By late November, you realize that the long-distance, marriage-proposal kind of commitment is fundamentally opposed to the ideals we’re taught to associate with college.

By November, however, most freshmen have gotten over the worst of their homesickness.

The “Turkey Drop” happens in part because freshmen realize they no longer need the safety blanket of their high school significant other. Christopher Thurber, a psychologist at Phillips Exeter Academy, going home for Thanksgiving – being surrounded by people they love – can actually help freshmen to get over their homesickness.

She didn’t go out because her high-school boyfriend didn’t want her to.

Then I got to college and saw that there was so much going on – different people and places and things.’ The committed match that you had in your mind might not look the same when you go home for Thanksgiving,” said Thurber.

She knew she was missing out on important college experiences, but there was still something that made her stay with him for the first few months.“First semester of freshman year, you don’t have that many real friends, so when my high-school boyfriend would show up, I would be like, ‘Yes, here is someone I trust, that I can actually tell things to,’” another junior said.

“He was someone who would just instantly understand what was happening with me emotionally.

One junior told me that, freshman year, her high-school boyfriend revealed his plans to propose the day after graduation. “The nice thing about the college atmosphere in terms of relationships is that you can ease in to them – you don’t have to know where you stand, you don’t have to be really certain,” said a current college junior.

“But with long distance, there’s the implication that you’re in it for the long haul.

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