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Well, that's how long I've been pining after him, Ashley.

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That's how long I have wanted Reeve Carney to be my boyfriend, or at least someone I got to have sex with once or twice in a shitty dorm-room bed.

Nevertheless: Ashley Greene, consider yourself my new nemesis.

Have you been pining after him since, oh let's see, 2003, when you saw him walking towards the bookstore beneath the dapple of an oak tree on the first day of your freshman year of college?

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